Workplace Throne Earnings Calculator

Do you use the washroom at work? Of course, you do—and that costs the company money, both for flushing and paying your wage while you use the washroom. I have to admit, I do it all the time. In fact, I time my bathroom breaks at work because I’m interested in how much it costs the company. Use the Throne Earnings Calculator below to find out how much you earn from using the washroom, how much the government has earned in taxes, and how much your company has lost because you had to go to the bathroom.

How to Use the Workplace Throne Earnings Calculator

1. Enter Your Hourly Wage:
   Begin by inputting your hourly wage in the provided field. This is the amount you earn for one hour of work. For example, if you make $20 per hour, enter “20” in the Hourly Wage field.
2. Input Your Average #1 (Pee) Duration:
   Estimate the average time you spend during a pee break in minutes. For example, if your typical pee break lasts 5 minutes, input “5” in the Average #1 Duration field.
3. Enter the Number of Pee Breaks Per Week:
   Count the number of times you take pee breaks at work in a typical week and input that number. For instance, if you take 10 pee breaks in a week, input “10.”
4. Input Your Average #2 (Poop) Duration:
   Estimate how long you spend during a poop break in minutes. For example, if your average poop break lasts 10 minutes, input “10” in the Average #2 Duration field.
5. Enter the Number of Poop Breaks Per Week:
   Count the number of times you take poop breaks at work during a week. For example, if you have 5 poop breaks in a week, input “5.”
6. Press the “Calculate Earnings” Button:
   Once all fields are filled out, click the “Calculate Earnings” button. The calculator will process the data and display your results.
7. Review Your Results:
   The calculator will show:
   • Earnings While on Breaks: Your total weekly, monthly, and yearly earnings while on bathroom breaks.
   • Taxes Paid: The amount of your earnings that goes to taxes (calculated at 25%).
   • Company Loss While on Bathroom Breaks: The estimated cost to your employer due to your time spent on bathroom breaks.
   • Flush Costs: The estimated weekly, monthly, and yearly costs associated with flushing the toilet during your breaks.

This tool provides an accurate breakdown based on the data you input, helping you understand the financial aspects of your bathroom breaks.

Why Use the Workplace Throne Earnings Calculator

Because why not? We’ve all used the washroom at work, whether we want to admit it or not. Using the bathroom on company time feels pretty satisfying, especially if no one ever gets a yearly bonus—just take your bonus on the throne and use the time to watch TikTok. Save your home time for cooking, cleaning, and relaxing after work. You deserve to unwind, not sit on the toilet. Time off is short as it is.

Now, let’s get to reality: it costs your company money every time you use the washroom. It costs money to flush, and it costs money in lost production from your working time. In the company’s defense, they might argue bathroom breaks should be deducted from your paycheck. Just kidding—I think there are laws against that.

You should also know that the government benefits when you’re using the washroom since they take taxes out of your earnings—even when you’re on the toilet. We made sure to include this feature in our calculator because it’s often overlooked.

Final Thoughts

Be happy that you’re paid to use the washroom at work and don’t feel guilty about relaxing at home. Use those throne earnings wisely. The end.